Going Back to Basics

I took a step back from writing. One of the many reasons was I took some time to reconnect with life, the actual pace of life- It's a lot slower than we'd like.

Much has happened in the past few months. There were moments where it felt like time went by so quickly, there were also moments where every second felt like eternity. We usually do not have much issue with time passing by quickly (with the occasional comment "oh where did all the time go??"), but many of us find it challenging to endure periods when time seems to stand still. Myself included. In the recent months, I've become more aware of the growing sense of unease and impatience during my quieter moments. In fact, I was tempted to feed to the need to be productive in my free time. Instead of giving in to my impulses by filling my time, I chose to fully experience my downtime. Don't get me wrong- It's not about being idle, it's not about taking naps and watching tv/scrolling social media all the long (though these activities might be helpful in some contexts). I spent those time exploring and connecting with aspects of my identity that extend beyond my professional and domestic responsibilities, to remind myself that I am more than what I do/able to offer. I started working out regularly, learned about nutrition and cooked healthier meals for myself, picked up some gardening skills and many more. While they may have seemed insignificant or time-consuming initially, but these activities revealed the power of consistent effort and meaningful change takes time.

Im sure this cat took its time to build trust and a sense of safety in the neighborhood (consistent effort) in order to be able to sleep soundly on a bin during the day (meaningful change)

In my gardening venture, I thought I killed a plant when I had it repotted. After repotting my plant, its lush green leaves withered and it seemed to be dying. The plant was had no leaves for weeks. In those weeks, I considered throwing away the plant and buy a new one. But I was persuaded (over and over and over again) to give it time. So, I regulated my anxiety and trust the process in letting time heal (literally). I checked on it everyday and watered it as usual. Weeks went by (which felt like eternity)and lo and behold, baby leaves started popping out, and the plant is now recovered! My experience with the plant not only taught me the importance of patience but also reminded me that growth can be unseen. This reinforced the timeless lesson that things take time and that unexpected outcomes don't always indicate failure. In today's world of instant gratification, patience is a valuable trait. Observing the plant's recovery boosted my gardening confidence and stretched my patience; qualities that are essential for personal growth.

Alishan, Taiwan - the living things are older and most probably wiser than the non living things

While unseen or easily misunderstood, self-exploration (or expanding the aspects of our identity) is essential for understanding our inner world and making informed choices. Self-exploration is about recognizing and being aware of our inner world (e.g., beliefs, self-worth, trauma). When we're more equipped with these insights about ourselves, then we have more room to make decisions, thus feel more empowered in dealing with stressors in life.

The journey of self-exploration follows the pace of nature- it takes time, cannot be rushed and is never-ending. Theres no short-cut, which can go against today's culture where we want everything to be more convenient/faster. We live in a world that is changing very fast, but ironically we don't change that fast. On top of that, human beings are typically resistant to change. Therefore, we may need some time to slow down and tune out from the noise of urgency to pay attention to whats truly important in life. This is where dedicated self-care time is important, its a time where we check in with our wellbeing.

When we're stressed, its easy to give in to our impulses and distract ourselves from the root problem. Worse, if there is a time factor involved. The more stressed we are, the less likely we're able to allow ourselves to be creative in solving problem. It's a little like picking up a new skills- theres a fine line between practising adequately vs giving time to our body to pick up the new skill. Often times we're more likely to practice harder than giving our body time to rest and process the new skill. Then, we risk making more mistakes and potentially getting injured.

KL skyline - a visual reminder that there are bigger things in life than ourselves

Instead of forcing things to progress according to our expectations, we have to remind ourselves to take a step back and breathe. Calm our nervous system down first (so that our mind and body is not in a fight or flight mode), and be reminded of our own resilience and strength. Instead of feeling helpless, we'll feel more empowered to resume problem solving/reevaluate the problem at a different angle. Not sure how to get started in slowing down by 5%? A very practical way of slowing down is actually giving yourself extra time. It could be walking slower, giving yourself breather time in your schedule or even to wind down. Give it time and trust the process.

Some food for thought:

1. When was the last time you recalibrated your own pace of life to the actual and natural pace of life?

2. What are some activities that can remind you of the actual pace of life?

3. What emotions or thoughts come to you during your downtime? Whats your go-to respond?